life as we know it

i admit, somewhat part of my 2011 was not planning of my future. i was quite contented with what i had and the state i was in. i was contented with my job and had thought of having it for a very long time. mainly because i felt comfortable with it and at it. the hospital served as my home. every inch of it, every turns every little thing about it, i knew. i really had no plans on going abroad. until now, the fact about it itches me, but then i think i really have to. not because i really needed the money, but maybe because i needed to give it to myself. 

part of my 2011 was mostly about him too. our relationship with each other had its ups and downs. part of my not planning was also because of him. but then, “kung kami, eh di kami”. he had no intentions (as to what i know as of now) of giving up his job at the hospital, well, that’s what he said. he was even glad to hear that i had really no plans on going anywhere. he was quite happy about it, and we had that conversation early last year. i wonder what he would think about this now, especially that our relationship now is far more different than what we had before. i cannot forever wait for him. we may be at a different stage now, but it is still not enough. 

things about my life are bit of a blur as of now. but at least now, i do have plans. a plan with a backbone of it self.

We may have our differences, we may have our issues, we may have our shortcomings. but at the end of every duty, we still consider each other as family. love you guys! :)

we talked as usual, but by this time, i felt something is missing. was it me? was it something in me? and yes, apparently it is something in me. 

we talked about random stuff. how my weekend went, how his weekend passed by. he watched boxing with his friends, i stayed at home the whole day facing the computer. the usual me on weekends. 

he was his usual self, but apparently i wasn’t. i seemed liked annoyed, sleepy or something, but i hope it didn’t show. annoyed to the fact that are we gonna be like this forever? or is it really me who’s seeing this things my own way. one sided, maybe.

two people passed by, two people we knew. once again, they commented on my weight, the usual stuff “how’d you do it?” “sexy na kaayo ka” and the never ending “naa na ka uyab sa?” then they blurted to him on my side “naa na na siya uyab sa?” and the dummy answered “ambot ani nia, naa na jud siguro. nag-uyab-uyab na”

while those conversation went by, my face was like this to him (-__-)… literally.

then we went on again with our usual conversation. i asked if they can cook in their boarding house, he said yeah, but not until now. then he asked if i can, i said yeah, but sometimes i overestimate on the food and i always end up bringing food to work. then he blurted “kanindot gud ana. paampon na lang ko sa nimo para makakaon kog tarong” and i said “ngano? di diay ka makakaon ug tarong diha imo boarding house?”. he laughed. make it clear - i got annoyed, again.

then the weekend thing was opened up, again. what he does on saturdays: waking up, basket ball, sleep, eat and then laundry. then sunday comes and he’ll be wondering what to do again. then he asked me how do i spend my weekends. “i sleep” i replied. he laughed. “no seriously, i spend the whole saturday doing chores, laundry, cleaning the house cooking”. he answered “so i can take my laundry and do it in your place instead” he laughed. make it clear - i’m getting more annoyed. then on sundays, i said, i usually spend the whole day sleeping. but then he said “di iday mo manlakaw sa imo uyab?” this got my nerves and i said, with a smiling face, annoyed feeling but joyful tone to hide what i feel “KAPILA NAMAN JUD TIKA GIINGNAN NA WALA KOY UYAB? NGANO DI MAN MO MUTU-O?”. but because i smiled, i know he didn’t get it, he always doesn’t. he just smirked and laughed.

i realized at that point, he had no clue… AT ALL. i thought he had, i gave him hints, i gave him clues… right to his face. 

i was on the verge of asking him to go out with me on weekends. it’s not that i am worried it won’t look good to other’s eyes, but it was because i was just too effin tired with our situation. the timing was right there, but my drive wasn’t.

he’s birthday is coming up, but he said he has no plans. and the most used line on our conversation this afternoon is “wala man koy kwarta”. they’re planning a small gathering with some of his friends on his birthday. grilling, drinking and boos at his friend’s house. at the end of it he said “adto nya, pagda lng ug imo” and he laughed. i know he was joking, but because i was already annoyed with the whole situation, i was not happy hearing it.

i guess he was just being friendly with me, and i may be seeing all his actions with another meaning behind it because i do feel something for him. biased in a shorter term. it may all be a friendly gesture, it maybe not, but unless he will be clearing things out, we shall be nowhere near any kind of relationship greater than friendship. 

we are so different. it was a given. i thought about it ever since i realized i do like him. but i spent so many times thinking we could work it out. we have different taste in music, different set of friends, different lifestyle and different priorities. but then i guess we shall never be able to do it, because i realize he easily gives up. or this is just as to what i saw this afternoon. i may not be right about it, but that’s what i think. it’s what he showed. 

getting over may take days, weeks, months or even years. i know it won’t be easy but i am now letting myself to sort things out and begin ending it.

kung kami, edi kami. but then a relationship takes two, not one. 

he maybe sending messages to me, but i guess my line’s too chappy and all that i do not get it too. 

i need to see how we react to each other outside work, outside baywalk. meeting on a planned date, not seeing each other coincidentally. we did tried once, but then God may not wanted it to pursue, was it a sign? LOL

after that, then maybe i can truly give up on him, and move on. so that i wouldn’t end up up think “what if”.

October 25, 2011

the day could not have gone so unexpected.

started my day with a very bad flu. realizing my wheat bread having molds on the crust. and me having difficulty in breathing.

at work, started the day with unprecedented change of assigned reader, thanks to someone. but i think that part really came to a good finish.

and the not so unexpected “trip to CDUH”. honestly, i had the feeling this was gonna happen, since it was the same situation i was in last year too. today is one of my co worker’s birthday and we already had planned to have a little gathering around food - as what we had always been doing when someone is celebrating their birthday. me who is not feeling well, slightly feverish, with a very bad alternating clogged and runny nose - decided to be the one to go on the trip. 

i thought i could really ask him directly, but obviously, i can’t.

in the end, i say i became more confused at the same time thankful for the time. 

at least we all went home with full stomachs. :)

Singapore Trip - September 12 to 17, 2011

For a person that does not travel that much like me, travelling Singapore became easy as a breeze. Maps and guides are all around the airport once you arrive there. Singapore like the Philippines has more than one airport terminal depending on what airline are you from. For Cebu Pacific, Tiger Airlines and Sea Air, budget terminal will be your stop. If you are flying with Philippine Airlines or Air Philexpress, terminal 2 will be your stop. Terminals 1, 2 and 3 are connected with a monotrain so in case you’d be lost and dropped of from the wrong terminal (like what happened to us when we were about to go home), you can take these mono trains, and it’s free of charge! The budget terminal however is not connected with the mono trains, however a free bus ride every 15 mins is provided by the Changi airport authorities for every passenger’s comfort. These terminals are not only connected with bus rides and mono trains, but in terminal 2, it is also connected with Singapore’s world renowned transportation system, the MRT.

Travelling Singapore will become easy as a breeze by having these two main things:

1. Maps and Guides - familiarizing Singapore’s streets is much easier than familiarizing Manila and Quezon city. especially with those maps available once you arrive and tour guides to know where and what places are to go to in SG. also, if you are to stay on a hotel in Singapore, it would be much better to stay within the main city district or near an MRT station. Singapore’s streets are best to be explored by walking too. you’ll never get lost with it especially with a map on your hand (this is tried and tested by me. LOL)
2. Familiarizing Singapore’s transportation system - once you get used with riding an MRT and Bus rides in Singapore, it will save you a lot of money rather than always riding a taxi. However, if you are to travel SG with company, you can weigh the pros and cons of riding a taxi and riding an MRT or a bus. but just a warning the taxi fares on Singapore has many add ons. the usual meter when you sit on a cab starts at $2.80, then $0.20 every km or so. but then add ons are being added during rush hour, when you came from the airport, when you pass by on a ERP (SG’s version of toll fee, but more high tech since it uses bar code and automatically deducts on the cab’s EZ link card, but then the law says tat the passengers are to shoulder this fee so, you get the point.) and so on. most cabs usually have these guidelines on the cab’s windows. for a first timer in Singapore, i suggest take a cab from the airport going to your hotel. thought you can choose to ride the MRT, i guess being a first timer you would have 80% chance of getting lost. Singapore cab drivers are the most honest people i have ever know of. so not like the cab drivers here in the Philippines so, you can totally trust them being a first timer in SG. On your first night in SG, study the Street Map and MRT routes. 

Most of the must go places in Singapore are free. The following places are the ones we were able to visit. Not in any particular order:

1. Universal Studios - your $66 will be sooooo worth it. trust me. just be there as soon as the park opens so that you won’t a thing and be able to finish all the attractions early. you can also book your tickets early and the weekday rates are different with the weekends and Holiday rates. Shrek 4D, Waterworld, Light’s camera action! are some of the best attractions. The Mummy ride give the Hell out of me, so not expecting of what awaited me but a MUST TRY. I was not brave enough to try CYLON though. hahah.
2. Sentosa - getting off at Harbourfront by MRT and riding the Monotrain to sentosa island would be the cheapest and easiest way to the island. But if you have more budget on your pockets, you can try riding the cable card towards the island. $24 one way and $26 round trip. we only had the one way trip but i suggest, you go with with round trip considering it is only $2 more, then get off and ride again for the mono train (this cost $3) to experience the cable car moment more. the starting point of the cable car is at harbourfront mall, so as the end point of the round trip. getting off, go to the near by mall, Vivo City and ride the mono train to Sentosa, this costs $3 - inclusive of the entrance to the city, and the ride way back to vivo city. If you plan to go to Universal studios and Sentosa island, i suggest give each attractions a day to explore all the things that can be explored. LOL. once you arrive at sentosa, get a route map pf the island. follow all the steps there and you are all set.
3. the Esplanade - the building’s architecture is just plain awesome. a little bit walk towards the back will bring you to numerous food stands which would also offer you the great view of marina bay sands while eating. 
4. the Marina Bay Sands - there is a $20 dollar entrance if you would want to go the the uppermost level of the hotel itself. opposite of the hotel is the mall, a variety of high end stores shall await you there.
5. Chinatown - my fave! chinatown offers cheap souvenirs and shoes. the food is yummy too. try exploring its market, the people’s park complex and people’s park centre. this place became my fave coz it’s just a few steps away from where we were staying.
6. Orchard - SHOPPING will not be complete without this road. high end fashion boutiques such as Gucci, Salvatore Ferregamo, Prada, LV and etc are just lining up on this road. if you have the budget to splurge, then you are in heaven, however, if yo were like me who’s not in to spending more than a $100 on one single cloth, i guess having a picture with every store would suffice. lol
7. Somerset Road - now this is my street. this road is just located beside Orchard road, the only difference is 313@somerset. a store that is full of stores that were on my reach when it comes to budget. Forever 21, H&M, Esprit, Uni Qlo and etc. this is MY version of fashion haven on a budget. i swear i could have lived on this place. H&M was a bit jam packed when i visited the place, i think it just opened for a bout a week since i visited, so yeah. 
8. Fort Canning park - this place was not on our itinerary. i just came by this place by accident. i was strolling down clarke quay and ended up hiking here. if you wanna explore the green side of Singapore plus sweating up, this is your place.
9. Clarke Quay - restaurants are filling up this place. located beside the river, the ambiance of the place was just so relaxing, that is if you visit this place in the morning, like me. hahaha. most of the stores (maybe all of them) weer closed when i went there. but i guess when who drop by Clarke Quay at night, things would be the opposite. If you are upto to finding great restaurants to eat in Singapore, Clarke Quay would be able to offer you a wide variety of choices of restaurants.

Some places that are definitely recommendable but we were not able to go to:

1. Jurong Bird Park
2. Singapore Zoo
3. Singapore Flyer

Places i really recommend NOT to go to: Lucky Plaza

the place is jam packed with Filipino people. if you wanna have a taste of Filipino food (which i think would be ironic since you are on a vacation, i suggest trying out more variety of food rather than this). we were scammed at this place. they offered us $380 for a camera, which just really cost $250. and they also charged us $480. to think that the salesman is a Filipino makes matters worse. it may be our fault too, not having to realize we were scammed. by the time we realized that we were, its already too late and our flight returning home was on the afternoon. though the place is located at Orchard road, there is nothing classy about it. me being traumatized by the place makes me say this: do not even dare stepping a foot at this mall. there is nothing good to see in it. so better yet roam around to other places than this piece of sh*t.

Our trip generally went well, except with the lucky plaza incident. but i would definitely go back again to singapore and try exploring the palces i haven’t been too. maybe also try cruising towards Indonesia and Malaysia too. 

:)

sorry for the wrong grammars and spellings. kinda in a hurry. :)

September 10, 2011

Cavite bound and Singapore bound! can i say excited? though i may not look like one on this pic (considering the fact that it’s past 12 in the midnight and i’m here blogging on the floor waiting for my 5 AM flight)…

so excited to see and squish our dog! 

:) 

and yeay! work-worry-free days to come! gonna miss work but the hell, vacation is a vacation! ^_________^

AUGUST 30, 2011

a date is a date! 

celebrating our never ending love for KPOP with Korean style resto and cafe. 

our pockets may have been complaining all through out, but then it was all worth it.

to girls, to friendship, to life and to KPOP.

:)

AUGUST 29, 2011

and yeah, i’m back to blogging my thoughts out. it’s been a while since i last put up an entry in this blog. not like on my other blog in which i keep active by reblogging stuffs and all.

since my last post, things had change… a LOT.

first of all, new home, and before i knew it, i’d be having a new one AGAIN, by the first week of October. i transferred not because i didn’t like the people i lived in with my previous one, i mean, i couldn’t really ask for more. the place was secured, clean and feels a lot like home since it’s a house in the first place, with lot’s of people in it so i don’t really feel alone. however it came to a point in which i decided somethings are to be done not because i needed to, but because it was the right thing to do. i may not be directly affected by their issues (nor are we) but then we at some point will be so might as well end thing soon.

2nd, me and alian are together at work… yeay! being with her at work take a lot of load off my shoulders at the hospital. i may not be the greatest teacher but i know she is a good student so for the past few months, she was able to cope up and learned so many things which took me a lot of time and courage to absorb.

3rd, him. the never ending issue of him. the past few months had been a roller coaster of feelings for me. confusion, anger, happiness and etc. but then i think all of us would reach in to a point that our hearts would stop yearning for things that are not that clear to begin with. maybe i, or maybe we both realized we are not destined or whatever you call it, for each other. as of now, seeing him regularly out of work (and by regularly i mean like and hour or so only) made me realize i can act normal when talking to him, which by the way, was a hell of a hard thing to do the past few months. 

and the fact i can share my issues about him with a close friend really helped in sorting out my feelings.

oh and yeah…. my toothache is still here. the only thing that is constant in my life. deym.

FEBRUARY 24, 2011

the past week had been a very depressing and fun one.

quite confusing days, sad situations and fun moments.

so i spent my evening in a nearby mall fitting some leggings (which i eventually bought after). the skirt, well, it was a bit expensive i guess. the blouse, well as you can see, it’s my uniform… haha. not in the mood to fit some blouses. 

i haz a thing for leggings nowadays. will by a new one when i get my salary this end of the month. :)

or maybe a thick-thick-thick black stockings. i do remember i have one when i was in college, i wonder where it is now.

FEBRUARY 20, 2011

just finished watching the movie 9. 

after watching this movie, i finally got the idea that not all animated movies are for kids. this movie is definitely worth watching, but not to be recommended for kids. the aura and plot is a bit dark considering it is set on a post-apocalyptic setting. 

if i’d rate it, i’d give give it 8 out of 10 stars.